Tuesday, October 17, 2006

good. hard. but GOOD.

that seems to be the motto for my life lately. yeah, i know that i am so blessed, and that i am not persecuted for my beliefs or starving or dying or anything like that, but just let me have my pity party. actually, i've talked myself out of it. nevermind. lol.
nevetherless, i have been struggling with some issues lately, but God is SO faithful, and it's good. it really is. and i'll leave it at that.
so, i came home from work the other night, and was just amazed at how big that dark/clear sky really is. it's out there. i wanted to take a picture, but would that really capture how magnificent it is? um, no. i felt like i could see forever, if i just stared long enough. and sometimes that would be a welcome escape from this crazy busy world we dwell in. (well, at least we don't live on "The Truman Show"...does anyone remember that movie? i really liked it...) oh, how i long for the nights when i get the chance to just lay on that grass, looking at that sky, marveling at how AWESOME our Creator is. why don't i do that more often? i need to just do it one night, no matter how cold it is. and i will. soon. make me.
speaking about stars and constellations. there seems to be one appearing on my face. oh, how i deeply dislike skin issues. and i thought i was over that. maybe this is revenge for all of those years of clear skin, when i made fun of Rachel and her issues. and now it's your turn to laugh at me...
and i feel fat. there, i said it. i know i'm not, but i feel it. maybe, because i just had supper. and i feel lazy as i'm holed up in the house. and i need to exercise. and to drink water.
wow, this is one major pep talk for me tonight. i have so much to do, and so little time. why do i rush myself to do everything in such an impossible amount of time? i only get disappointed with myself! oh, and i feel stuck in a rut. SOMEONE PULL ME OUT!!!
ok, so this isn't getting any happier. and it started off so upbeat. oh well. back to work tomorrow. i don't know how to end this... ok, so this pity party is officially over.

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