so...

it's almost December. crazy, eh? i can remember when it was only nearing the end of September, and i was moaning and groaning, "is it Christmas yet?" in lieu of my melancholy of not being away from home and missing my far away friends. and now, months have passed, and that "most wonderful time of the year" is right around the corner. where did October and November go? hmm.... but it's good. it's been a solid fall, now approaching winter. i think it's so cool (and really SO necessary) to look back and just realize how God has provided over the last while. and i don't even realize or look for it 99% of the time. [but why should i have to make the effort to look for it, when it is right in front of me? i am just so blind sometimes...] sad, but so true. i focus on ME all of the time, and it's not about me. at all. a wise man (Rob Bell of the Nooma video series...SO good. check them out sometime!) once said, "MY world is not THE world." just think about that. and apply it. often. but alot of the time, it is just a whole lot easier and more comfortable not to... ok. so Melissa just requested that i be a bit more lighthearted. i guess i do go deep more often than not. but, i guess that is just a reflection of my need to go below the surface, to go beyond the shallowness of this world. whatever. here i go at not being so introspective.
i am SO excited for Christmas! a resounding "yay" for family coming home, quitting work on December 20 [wow, that sounds so negative. i don't really like to see it as "quitting" persay, but just leaving and not coming back. yeah, that's a nicer phrase, a great euphemism, if you will. yay for that Critical Thinking course in college last year! i DID learn something...ok, so maybe just that word. but still.], hoping to move on to Vancouver soon. i need to get going on that. someone just kick me every so often to make sure that i am. but, oh the joys of the season! spending time, not spending money. or making it. just being. not only doing. enjoying life. loving it. and people. going skating, sledding, getting cold and then drinking a cup of hot chocolate. staying up late at night, when all of the unexpected/great conversations happen. getting dressed up and going out for dinner. catching up. yeah, i'm uber stoked. oh yeah, and remembering the true reason of the season...and why was that the last "joy of the season" on my list? ok, i'm not going to go into how horrible of a person i am for doing that. but it IS good to look at my priorities...
ok, so maybe that wasn't my strongest attempt at being cheerful and not so melancholy. sorry guys. sorry Melissa for this disappointment. meh. why does everything i say turn into a lesson? it's slightly humorous, i guess. maybe i shouldn't be so hard on myself [?]. i don't know. but i guess it is good to be aware...
and i thought i had nothing to write about...
yeah. so i guess i've come to the conclusion that life is good. not easy. but good. not all rainbows and butterflies and lollipops and smiley faces. but good. and that's a good conclusion to come to. i'm at a certain place in my life, and i think that's where God has me. actually, i'm pretty sure that He wanted me to learn some crazy hard/awesome stuff this fall. and that's a good feeling to have. to be content in Him. to know that He, the CREATOR of the world, is working in me, no matter how subtle this transformation is. and gross. did i mention how gross it is to feel so broken? yeah, it is. but there is beauty in the broken. yeah, there is. somewhere there is. at least He thinks so. and that's pretty much all that matters. yay God! did i mention that i love You? (insert huge smiley face)...
ok. so perhaps i should be done stealing Mel's computer. a big shoutout to her for being so generous in letting my take it over. and i WILL attach a pic of you, girl, for the viewing pleasure of all those people that look at this. but first, let me tell you about Melissa. she is pretty awesome. yep, i love her. she was one of my best friends growing up, and we're still pretty tight. we may be cousins, but i always considered us friends first. she is a solid girl, with great morals and a delightful sense of humor. basically, i really appreciate her always laughing at my not-so-funny jokes. thanks, Melissa for being a great friend throughout the years...
ok, so this is me signing off, for yet another week (or maybe two...). have a good one...
did i mention i love Sundays?