sometimes...

sometimes i hate looking at other people's blogs, because then i feel bad for not writing on mine often enough. and then, when i finally do get a creative urge and time, i write about how i never write....
it feels like life has thrown me somewhat of a curve ball this week. that, or i just wasn't prepared for what it would hold. after being home in NS for a bit over 2 weeks and then being in Vancouver for less than a week and then proceeding to jump into a van with 10 others headed to Pinawa, MB, for a YWAM Canada conference/retreat for 10 days total, i just didn't know which way was up. the aforementioned trips were all very special, meaningful, and important to me (and i'll post more about them soon), but i guess i didn't know what to expect next. over the course of this past week, our DTS has been cancelled and is now on again, i have had the joy of discovering some of the not-so-fun aspects of my anal personality, i have prayed about and think i know what is next after my commitment to YWAM is done, i have said goodbye to some close friends, i have taken on some new responsibilities that in hindsight might be a bit much, and more...
but, today is a new day. i don't feel as bewildered as i did earlier on this week. and over the last while, i have been learning some stuff. like how taking risks and trusting that God will always be with me wherever i am and whatever i do is much more freeing than being afraid of failure. that i can be excited about the future while still remembering the past with fondness. and how to proceed when i realize how stupid i can be to the people i care about.
it's been a weird/difficult week, but a good one. one of pain and change and transition, yet also one of perspective and hope and grace.

(picture taken by Rachel Anne Bokma)